the beginning

Let’s jump right in with both feet, shall we… tomorrow marks 3 weeks since my 16 year old son made the decision to end the pain he was in by taking his own life. The grief and loss are indescribable and at times over-whelming.

This blog is not about pity or be-moaning a loss that we can’t change however. It is about the lesson that must come out of it and the opportunity that it gives us all to move forward with vision and hope. More than anything….HOPE.

My son’s name is Willie. I say “is” and not “was” because he is still with us in spirit, just not physically anymore. He was so many things. His greatest gift to me though is as my teacher. He has left me with a lesson to live my life with the ideals I had just barely started to grasp before he decided to leave.

Truth. Freedom. Joy.

Words that I had embraced and chosen to live by in the past few months. Ideals and a direction that Willie so sought but could not see through the pain and depression he was in due to mental illness.

Truth – to live who you are. To embrace your true self with all your dreams, goals and wants. To not be afraid or ashamed of your needs and to learn to love ALL of yourself, even the parts you don’t like very much. It’s all you. What you may think are your weaknesses are an integral part to your strengths.

Freedom – to embrace your path that you choose. And the secret we all look for is that you can change that path and meander and turn back and loop and re-trace steps as many times as you want! It’s your path and you have the Freedom to have it lead where you want it to go.

Joy… living your Truth and enjoying the Freedom that allows will open you to receive the Joy that is ours. The beauty of joyfully embracing “you” is the gift we have to allow ourselves to receive – and can only be given from within.

The journey starts before we realize it has begun and continues after we’re gone in those we leave behind and the impact we have made. An impact that none of us can grasp fully.

Live open live abundantly (aka Lola)

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